Why consecration is beautiful

Dear blog audience,

I started this blog mainly for my sister who is in Colorado and was curious about some of the things that have been happening in my heart. I told her, "I'll have to tell you a story about what is happening sometime." and she said, "Why don't you start a blog?"
She actually just stirred up an old passion of mine and gave me the kick in the butt to sit down start blogging again. It's been a long time since I blogged regularly on my old Xanga blog (although I have updated it more recently than you might think) so I can't make any promises that I will write regularly but I do hope that no matter the regularity of it all, that it glorifies Jesus.

Beautiful Consecration
How did I come up with the name for my blog? Not easily, my friend. And I'm not talking about how hard it was to pick a name. I'm talking about how hard it was to finally see beauty in consecration. Let me define the two words for you...

Consecration
"a solemn commitment of your life or your time to some cherished purpose" - WordNet Dictionary

Beautiful
"Having the qualities which constitute beauty; pleasing to the sight or the mind." - Websters Dictionary 


Let me be clear about something in this very first entry: Consecration was not pleasing to me. It didn't feel good and to make the circumstances even more interesting, I didn't choose to be consecrated. I really didn't. A lot of people in my school (International House Of Prayer University) had seasons of consecration where they purposefully did not enter into a relationship because God had asked them to set aside that season to be single. I was not like them. I used to be so chuffed with the fact that I was 22 years old when I started school and therefore old enough to have a relationship. Praise God that in His infinite wisdom, He knew that my heart wasn't ready for these things they call relationships and and boyfriends. He knew that there was so much left for Baylea to learn without the distraction of learning how to fall in love on top of everything else. So God consecrated me. It was about a year ago when my mom told me that she had been praying for me and told me that God had told her that I was in a time of consecration. "But I didn't consecrate myself." I told her. "Well, God consecrated you for yourself. He's hiding you so that no one will pursue you until it's time."
Perfect. I thought sarcastically. My mom is always right.
This time was no exception. For a very long time (Okay, for the first few months) I tried really hard to get noticed. I would see an upstanding young man and think, "Wow, he's super awesome, I'm going to see if he'll like me." Nope. Not even a little bit. All I got was the painful little sting in my heart from the conviction of the Holy Spirit telling me to shape up and behave. There was not a single young man in the entire IHOP-KC community that seemed to be interested in me. I was baffled.

That was last year. This year I rejoice in my consecration. There still seem to be no young men interested in me but something has switched inside of my heart. No, I did not suddenly like being single but I am so humbled by the fact that God would see the poor state of my heart and do what was best for me to make me fruitful and alive in love. Even though I kicked and screamed against this, He patiently and faithfully led me through each day, giving grace when I didn't ask for it and bringing revelation to my heart. Little by little, this merciful Man has melted me. This last semester of school was such a sweet time of connecting with the Lord in a whole new way because I embraced my consecration. I am so thankful that God hid me away and gave me a season of intimacy with Him. My consecration has became pleasing to me as I realize what God has worked in me and through me. I never thought I could grow so much and find so much joy in being single but here I am.

I'm blogging my journey of consecration and eventually, I hope, of meeting the young man that God has been preparing me for. Whatever happens, it will be a journey of falling deeper in love.

Love,
Me