Dear Blogging Audience,
So, the Fellowship has started. When I explain the name to people I always say, "It's like the Fellowship Of The Ring except there are no hobbits." Then they understand.
I could go on about all the amazing things that I have been doing and the teaching and the girls but I wanted to write about something that God is pounding into my heart at the moment. It's about His goodness. It's about his Father's heart for me. It's about the fact that He really does have good plans for me.
At the moment I need $2,500 dollars to pay off the Fellowship and buy my plane ticket for Thailand. I need this money by the end of September. I don't know where this money is going to come from.
Oh yeah, I'm still single. I really want that upstanding young man who is supposed to be my husband to be in my life right about now.
My mom got very sick a week or so ago. She's doing better but she's still not 100%
Money for my family has been extremely tight. This summer has been difficult for me as I watched us struggle through trying to buy groceries, pay bills and say no to things because the money just isn't there.
I look at all these things and I think, "I have all these needs, there is so much that I don't have." And the lie sneaks into my thought process, "God isn't good."
When I come down to it, the main problem isn't that I don't think God isn't BIG enough to give me the money I need or provide for my family or heal my mom or bring me a husband, it's that I don't think He's GOOD enough. Sure, God has all the money in the world and is sovereign over all of creation, but does He see my weary heart as I cry out for my husband or as I worry about my mom or finances? Does He care? Does He see my tears and then go and weep because I've moved His heart?
One of the most powerful stories in my life right now is John 11 about Jesus, Lazarus, Mary and Martha. Jesus knew about Lazarus' sickness BEFORE Lazarus died. Mary and Martha sent the message and sat and waited, knowing that Jesus was their only hope of keeping their brother from dying. One day passes. Lazarus gets worse. Two day. They're not sure if their brother is going to make it. Three days. And he dies...
Overwhelming sorrow, anger, brokenness, fear, hopelessness, and confusion fill the sisters. Why didn't Jesus come? Didn't he love them? Didn't he know? Wasn't he good?
Four days of wrestling with questions and emotions and finally, Jesus comes. Martha goes out to him and she receives a theology lesson. Mary goes out to him and he weeps. Jesus saw Mary's tears, Mary's doubts and fears, Mary's burden of sorrow. Her tears moved His heart.
Right now I feel like I'm Mary and Martha in the middle of the 4 days between the time when Lazarus died and Jesus comes and brings him back to life. I've sent my message to Jesus, I know what happens to me matters to him but... where is he? Why isn't he doing anything? Is he really good?
As I have wrestled through yet-to-be-answered prayers, I have found myself being brought back into the truth that, YES! MY GOD IS GOOD!
He is a God that sees the ache in my heart and gives me joy to be my strength. He is a God that picks me up and holds me close to His Father's heart. He is a God that wrote down amazing plans and dreams for me before I was even born that go above and beyond all that I could ask or imagine.
Out of His great love for me...
Yes. My God is good.
Love,
Me
So, the Fellowship has started. When I explain the name to people I always say, "It's like the Fellowship Of The Ring except there are no hobbits." Then they understand.
I could go on about all the amazing things that I have been doing and the teaching and the girls but I wanted to write about something that God is pounding into my heart at the moment. It's about His goodness. It's about his Father's heart for me. It's about the fact that He really does have good plans for me.
At the moment I need $2,500 dollars to pay off the Fellowship and buy my plane ticket for Thailand. I need this money by the end of September. I don't know where this money is going to come from.
Oh yeah, I'm still single. I really want that upstanding young man who is supposed to be my husband to be in my life right about now.
My mom got very sick a week or so ago. She's doing better but she's still not 100%
Money for my family has been extremely tight. This summer has been difficult for me as I watched us struggle through trying to buy groceries, pay bills and say no to things because the money just isn't there.
I look at all these things and I think, "I have all these needs, there is so much that I don't have." And the lie sneaks into my thought process, "God isn't good."
When I come down to it, the main problem isn't that I don't think God isn't BIG enough to give me the money I need or provide for my family or heal my mom or bring me a husband, it's that I don't think He's GOOD enough. Sure, God has all the money in the world and is sovereign over all of creation, but does He see my weary heart as I cry out for my husband or as I worry about my mom or finances? Does He care? Does He see my tears and then go and weep because I've moved His heart?
One of the most powerful stories in my life right now is John 11 about Jesus, Lazarus, Mary and Martha. Jesus knew about Lazarus' sickness BEFORE Lazarus died. Mary and Martha sent the message and sat and waited, knowing that Jesus was their only hope of keeping their brother from dying. One day passes. Lazarus gets worse. Two day. They're not sure if their brother is going to make it. Three days. And he dies...
Overwhelming sorrow, anger, brokenness, fear, hopelessness, and confusion fill the sisters. Why didn't Jesus come? Didn't he love them? Didn't he know? Wasn't he good?
Four days of wrestling with questions and emotions and finally, Jesus comes. Martha goes out to him and she receives a theology lesson. Mary goes out to him and he weeps. Jesus saw Mary's tears, Mary's doubts and fears, Mary's burden of sorrow. Her tears moved His heart.
Right now I feel like I'm Mary and Martha in the middle of the 4 days between the time when Lazarus died and Jesus comes and brings him back to life. I've sent my message to Jesus, I know what happens to me matters to him but... where is he? Why isn't he doing anything? Is he really good?
As I have wrestled through yet-to-be-answered prayers, I have found myself being brought back into the truth that, YES! MY GOD IS GOOD!
He is a God that sees the ache in my heart and gives me joy to be my strength. He is a God that picks me up and holds me close to His Father's heart. He is a God that wrote down amazing plans and dreams for me before I was even born that go above and beyond all that I could ask or imagine.
Out of His great love for me...
Yes. My God is good.
Love,
Me
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