My Best Friend's Wedding

Dear Blogging Audience,

Have you ever watched your best friend get married to the love of their life? The couple is practically glowing and that look of adoration in their eyes is unmistakable. The emotions that come up as they say their vows and the mothers of the bride and groom tear up as they realize that their little ones are not so little anymore and are ready to commit the rest of their lives to going on a journey of love.

I got to be in my best friend's wedding this past weekend and I never knew the amount of joy and happiness my heart could feel as I watched Faith and Colin get married. My face literally began aching from smiling so much while watching the ceremony. Tears ran down my face as Colin vowed to love and honor and cherish the person I love and cherish and more tears ran down my face as Faith read her rhyming vows to the only boy who had fully conquered her heart. After the kiss and the bridal party left, I felt as if I was glowing as much as the bride was, I was so overcome with joy. We had a massive group hug in the kitchen and kept saying over and over how it was finally done.

When I was first asked to be a part of Faith's wedding, I was ecstatic! I've always loved weddings and this was going to be the 1st time I was going to be in a friend's wedding with real Bride's maidal duties. [Bride's Maidal: the word we use to describe anything the Maid of Honor and I had to do for the wedding.] I was going to have a dress and we were going to get our hair done at a salon and we were going to have pictures taken and there would be groomsmen and keeping track of Faith's things and making sure she ate and had anything she could need. I got to be in the room as the dress was pulled over her head and she was laced up in the back. I got to kneel down and fix her bustle and then look up at her, my best friend, and feel that surge of bittersweet emotions. There she was, ready to leave a part of herself behind in order to find a whole new type of love and joy.
Because they only had two friends stand up with them, I was part of the first couple that walked down the aisle to start the ceremony. I was so honored to have that opportunity to walk in, smile at the many faces I didn't really know and towards the front where I would stand, holding my flowers, and representing a million different memories from Faith's life. I knew that my friendship with Faith was going to be completely different. There are going to be many years more of memories and pictures and dances and laughs, but it's never going to be just Faith and Baylea again ever because Faith is also part of Colin. As the ceremony progressed I remembered the times Faith had held me when I cried or made me laugh til my stomach hurt or gave me a special best friend look that no one else would see. Those things will still happen but it will be different. Even so, I knew my best friend was happy and watching her become Colin's wife was one of the most amazing gifts she could have ever given me as a friend. 


There were so many little things about the day that I got to experience that no one else did and I don't want to take those things for granted. Like the dance party in the car on the way to get our hair done, watching her and Colin see each other for the first time on the wedding day, hugging her in the pictures of just the two of us, sitting in the room waiting for the ceremony to start and letting them win points in Baylea Blushing [I really didn't have a choice], our group hug after the ceremony, standing by the table while they cut the cake, singing them the song I wrote for them and Colin blowing me a kiss when I was done, watching their first dance and not being able to stop smiling.  It was such a beautiful wedding and I was thrilled to have been a part of it in so many ways. 


When we got home I didn't want to get out of my dress or take off Zach's vest or put down my flowers or wash my make-up off because I didn't want the night to be over. As the Fessies all sat in a pile on the couch we talked about how wonderful the wedding was, how beautiful I had been, how happy we were for Faith and Colin and how excited we were for the next wedding. [Which will be mine. ;)] I didn't know how amazing it would be to watch my best friend get married but now I do and it's a feeling I never want to forget.

Faith and Colin,
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for allowing me to love and support you guys in such a special way on your wedding day. Can't wait til I get to head back up to Canada!
Love,
Me

I choose joy.

Dear Blogging Audience,

So, here I am, just a few days before I graduate and I'm realizing something: I'm a whiner. I whine a lot. Maybe it's not always with my words but with my attitude, my actions, my lack of actions. Some way, some how, I show I am not satisfied and/or ungrateful for some reason or another. Why? Why, friends? Why must I think I am so high and mighty that I can look down my nose at anything? If I'm looking down at something, that means I have not gone to the lowest place. And the lowest place is where I'll find Jesus. If I am serious about finding Jesus, I need to take the lowest place seriously.

Yes, there are uncomfortable situations, there are things that really don't seem to add to life and yes, we do have different opinions and preferences. But how do I hold my heart in those times? Is it looking for a way to bless those around me? Is it resting in the knowledge that God is holding my every breath in His hand? Is it unoffended? When I am offended that means I have pride. When I whine that means I have pride. Pride is so ugly, guys.

The picture that keeps coming to mind is me, sitting in some uncomfortable situation but I'm rejoicing and happy because I've found the joy of the Lord in my circumstances. I don't mind what is going on because I have felt the love of my Father for me. I have confidence in the love my Bridegroom has for me. And I trust that justice will come to me from my Judge. I don't have to make it come. I don't have to worry about it. I can trust in the love of my Father.

The Lord is my Light and my Salvation, whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life, of whom shall I be afraid? [Psalm 27:1]

Why do I not take this verse seriously? When I whine and complain and go on and on about not getting my own way, that is me not trusting how God leads me, where God is leading me to and His heart for me on my journey. That is me focused on temporary details that I don't remember for more than a day 95% of the time (unless I blog/journal/tweet about it). Being thankful for the little things, the big things, the in between things is a way that I show that I trust God that He really is my Light. He really is my Salvation. He really is my Stronghold. He really does have good plans for me.

When I complain and whine about something someone else did, I am saying I'm better than them. When you boil it down, it's me saying, "What you did/said wasn't good enough for me." Ugh! That ugly pride monster! Me looking down at another person made in the same Image I was made in! Me judging the thoughts and actions of others when I have no good thing apart from The Lord. Why don't I choose joy in those situations? Is my own physical discomfort in the way of rejoicing in The One that's bigger than any circumstance ever known to mankind? And then there's the fact that NO ONE can do ANYTHING to me outside of what my God has decided.

I have breath right now because the Creator God is saying to my body, "breathe." How can I be a whiner when my life is being sustained every moment by the Living God? Why do I feel like I can look down my nose at something when it is only because God is actively giving me life that keeps me alive in those moments? And that's not even the personal ways God has touched my life: I've had my body healed, I've had my heart restored, I've had my needs met and dreams become reality. I've been loved and blessed. I have people to love and bless. I have communion with the Holy Spirit and Jesus is coming back for me. For me! Oh, glory! What a beautiful thought! And I let the fact that it's hot outside steal my joy... My weak flesh. My strong pride. 

I don't know about you, but I don't want to whine. I don't enjoy whining. Especially not when others do it. I want to be found rejoicing even in the times of discomfort. I want to rejoice with others, not look down at them. I don't want my pride to say, "THIS IS MY RIGHT!" and be upset and ungrateful. So, this will be easy, right? ;) I know this is hard. But finding that joy that lights someone up from the inside out because they have an unshakable trust in God is worth going to the lowest places for. 

Love,
Me