Dear Blogging Audience,
Last night in my maiden post (Oh geesh, did I really just type that?) I talked about consecration and how God has shown me how beautiful it really is. I meant every single word that I wrote, make no mistake, but I am going to write another entry today that is all about, well, being NOT consecrated.
[Technically, there are more things to be consecrated from than just relationships with the opposite gender but for the sake of simplicity, I'll just leave it at that. I'm sure there will be a blog about it later.]
I want to be married.
Mmhmm. Yup. There you have it, flat out, no beating around the bush or watering down the truth. I have wanted to be married for quite some time now. Probably about 20 years or so since when I first started making my barbies get hitched and pop out babies. It's what my mom did and it's what my sister-in-law did and it's what my little sister is in the middle of doing and it's what I want to do. Call it a family thing, but I can't wait to be a wife and a mother. (Chill, I don't take these responsibilities lightly, I know they are hardcore.)
As you know from the previous entry, God has been hiding me and there have been no eligible young bachelors coming around to ask my dad for my fair hand in marriage. This has been so critical to my heart as I learned how to surrender and ask God for His heart for my husband and even myself as a wife. Over the past few months I have felt things change as I pray. I have no idea who or when or where or how but I do know that God is gently guiding me to the place where the upstanding young man will run into me (hopefully not literally but hey, whatever it takes.) and that it's going to be at just the right time. My impatient little heart is begging, "God, make it soon! I might explode if I have to wait 3 more years!" but at the same time there's this peaceful little whisper in my heart that is overriding all the selfish desires for it to happen NOW. God has been so faithful to keep me steady in keeping my gaze on Him.
One thing that God used to encourage me in this time of waiting was a picture. The scene was of me dancing with God, my eyes focused on Him and completely undistracted (Oh great, is that not a word?) by life around me. God, however, wasn't looking at me. He was looking over my shoulder at a young man (who I am sure is very cute and plays guitar) with a twinkle in His eye. Now, God didn't say anything, but the look on His face said something along the lines of, "Yes, she's beautiful. Are you going to cut in or what?" That young man (who I am sure is very cute and plays guitar) was simply standing on the sidelines of the dance floor staring, no, gawking at me dancing with God. And God was waiting for the young man (who I am sure is very cute and plays guitar) to step up and ask to cut in.
This picture doesn't mean that when I get a boyfriend and eventually a husband that I won't be able to love God and continue "dancing" with Him, but it showed me that right now the most important thing is keeping my eyes and my heart focused on God. Why? Because that's how the upstanding young man in the picture (who I am sure is very cute and plays guitar.) is going to fall in love with me.
So that is what I've set my heart to do in this season. I know that there is grace to continue on in this consecration until God convinces the young man on the sidelines (who I am sure is very cute and plays guitar) to come and ask to cut in. Whenever that may be.
Love,
Me
Last night in my maiden post (Oh geesh, did I really just type that?) I talked about consecration and how God has shown me how beautiful it really is. I meant every single word that I wrote, make no mistake, but I am going to write another entry today that is all about, well, being NOT consecrated.
[Technically, there are more things to be consecrated from than just relationships with the opposite gender but for the sake of simplicity, I'll just leave it at that. I'm sure there will be a blog about it later.]
I want to be married.
Mmhmm. Yup. There you have it, flat out, no beating around the bush or watering down the truth. I have wanted to be married for quite some time now. Probably about 20 years or so since when I first started making my barbies get hitched and pop out babies. It's what my mom did and it's what my sister-in-law did and it's what my little sister is in the middle of doing and it's what I want to do. Call it a family thing, but I can't wait to be a wife and a mother. (Chill, I don't take these responsibilities lightly, I know they are hardcore.)
As you know from the previous entry, God has been hiding me and there have been no eligible young bachelors coming around to ask my dad for my fair hand in marriage. This has been so critical to my heart as I learned how to surrender and ask God for His heart for my husband and even myself as a wife. Over the past few months I have felt things change as I pray. I have no idea who or when or where or how but I do know that God is gently guiding me to the place where the upstanding young man will run into me (hopefully not literally but hey, whatever it takes.) and that it's going to be at just the right time. My impatient little heart is begging, "God, make it soon! I might explode if I have to wait 3 more years!" but at the same time there's this peaceful little whisper in my heart that is overriding all the selfish desires for it to happen NOW. God has been so faithful to keep me steady in keeping my gaze on Him.
One thing that God used to encourage me in this time of waiting was a picture. The scene was of me dancing with God, my eyes focused on Him and completely undistracted (Oh great, is that not a word?) by life around me. God, however, wasn't looking at me. He was looking over my shoulder at a young man (who I am sure is very cute and plays guitar) with a twinkle in His eye. Now, God didn't say anything, but the look on His face said something along the lines of, "Yes, she's beautiful. Are you going to cut in or what?" That young man (who I am sure is very cute and plays guitar) was simply standing on the sidelines of the dance floor staring, no, gawking at me dancing with God. And God was waiting for the young man (who I am sure is very cute and plays guitar) to step up and ask to cut in.
This picture doesn't mean that when I get a boyfriend and eventually a husband that I won't be able to love God and continue "dancing" with Him, but it showed me that right now the most important thing is keeping my eyes and my heart focused on God. Why? Because that's how the upstanding young man in the picture (who I am sure is very cute and plays guitar.) is going to fall in love with me.
So that is what I've set my heart to do in this season. I know that there is grace to continue on in this consecration until God convinces the young man on the sidelines (who I am sure is very cute and plays guitar) to come and ask to cut in. Whenever that may be.
Love,
Me
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