The Mom School

Hello blog audience,

Guys, I have the best job in the world. It prepares and equips me for my calling more than any other thing in the world. It fills me because I get to pour myself out. What am I? I'm a babysitter of course!

Tonight I got to do more than I normally do because I went over earlier than most weeks. I got to get the baby up from her nap, I got to cook them supper (it was frozen pizza, but still! I put that thing in the oven and cut it and fed those kids!), I bathed the littlest one, got them all to bed AND I cleaned the house (I love doing that and then leaving before the parents notice.). Granted, the kids were really good today, but I super enjoyed it.

I consider my babysitting jobs (there are three-four families that I babysit for regularly) the most important training school in my life at the moment. This strikes me as ironic because I get paid to babysit and in turn, use that money to pay to go to school. My highest calling, however, is not to play the piano and sing. One of my highest callings is to be the help-mate of the upstanding young gentleman that I have yet to meet and be the mother of the children God places in my life. [The highest calling of my life is to love God and love others.] I consider those two roles of wife and mother to be much more important than any job or school or degree or position in the whole world. And babysitting those precious children is my prep school.

When I babysit this particular family I always have the opportunity to learn more. The kids are wonderful and I love them all dearly but they are very full of life and probably smarter than I am on several levels so it takes a lot to keep up with them. The boys are not like my little brothers and the little girl is not like the other little girls I babysit. This gives me the opportunity to learn how to love differently. How to correct differently. How to see the world differently. Every child that is placed in my life gives me another chance to learn how to love differently. I love that about my job.

I know that when I become a mother, my children will not all come from my womb. They will come from many different countries and families and I'll need to know how to love each child the way that is best for them. I will need to know how to correct and discipline each child in a way that is best for them. I will need to know that the world doesn't always the same to each pair of eyes, but I'll need to get down on my knees so I can see the world the same way a child does. I have been praying for my kids for years and I know that some of them are probably already born. What is it going to look like to be the mother to the child another woman carried for 9 months? I don't know, but I know that these nights that I get to love the children I babysit for, God is working in my heart love for another child that will become mine.

And hopefully, when that day comes, and I have a bunch of kids and my husband and I want to take dance lessons (or even just go to wal-mart) we'll find a babysitter that can love our kids and who cleans our house just because she can. Sounds like an awesome girls to me ;)

Love,
Me

Why consecration is beautiful

Dear blog audience,

I started this blog mainly for my sister who is in Colorado and was curious about some of the things that have been happening in my heart. I told her, "I'll have to tell you a story about what is happening sometime." and she said, "Why don't you start a blog?"
She actually just stirred up an old passion of mine and gave me the kick in the butt to sit down start blogging again. It's been a long time since I blogged regularly on my old Xanga blog (although I have updated it more recently than you might think) so I can't make any promises that I will write regularly but I do hope that no matter the regularity of it all, that it glorifies Jesus.

Beautiful Consecration
How did I come up with the name for my blog? Not easily, my friend. And I'm not talking about how hard it was to pick a name. I'm talking about how hard it was to finally see beauty in consecration. Let me define the two words for you...

Consecration
"a solemn commitment of your life or your time to some cherished purpose" - WordNet Dictionary

Beautiful
"Having the qualities which constitute beauty; pleasing to the sight or the mind." - Websters Dictionary 


Let me be clear about something in this very first entry: Consecration was not pleasing to me. It didn't feel good and to make the circumstances even more interesting, I didn't choose to be consecrated. I really didn't. A lot of people in my school (International House Of Prayer University) had seasons of consecration where they purposefully did not enter into a relationship because God had asked them to set aside that season to be single. I was not like them. I used to be so chuffed with the fact that I was 22 years old when I started school and therefore old enough to have a relationship. Praise God that in His infinite wisdom, He knew that my heart wasn't ready for these things they call relationships and and boyfriends. He knew that there was so much left for Baylea to learn without the distraction of learning how to fall in love on top of everything else. So God consecrated me. It was about a year ago when my mom told me that she had been praying for me and told me that God had told her that I was in a time of consecration. "But I didn't consecrate myself." I told her. "Well, God consecrated you for yourself. He's hiding you so that no one will pursue you until it's time."
Perfect. I thought sarcastically. My mom is always right.
This time was no exception. For a very long time (Okay, for the first few months) I tried really hard to get noticed. I would see an upstanding young man and think, "Wow, he's super awesome, I'm going to see if he'll like me." Nope. Not even a little bit. All I got was the painful little sting in my heart from the conviction of the Holy Spirit telling me to shape up and behave. There was not a single young man in the entire IHOP-KC community that seemed to be interested in me. I was baffled.

That was last year. This year I rejoice in my consecration. There still seem to be no young men interested in me but something has switched inside of my heart. No, I did not suddenly like being single but I am so humbled by the fact that God would see the poor state of my heart and do what was best for me to make me fruitful and alive in love. Even though I kicked and screamed against this, He patiently and faithfully led me through each day, giving grace when I didn't ask for it and bringing revelation to my heart. Little by little, this merciful Man has melted me. This last semester of school was such a sweet time of connecting with the Lord in a whole new way because I embraced my consecration. I am so thankful that God hid me away and gave me a season of intimacy with Him. My consecration has became pleasing to me as I realize what God has worked in me and through me. I never thought I could grow so much and find so much joy in being single but here I am.

I'm blogging my journey of consecration and eventually, I hope, of meeting the young man that God has been preparing me for. Whatever happens, it will be a journey of falling deeper in love.

Love,
Me