All is for Your Glory.

Hello Patient Blogging Audience,

I can't tell you how many blog entries I had started in my head, and I actually had one started about a week ago but they just never made it to the publish button. I wanted to write about hearing someone say, "God loves weddings. He really does." and how that shifted a wrong view I had of God. I wanted to write about my incredible Wisconsin team and how bonded we became. I wanted to write about my first set in the Global Prayer Room (GPR) and how God set my heart to sing to an audience of One. I wanted to write about how my little brother is flying by himself to another state for 6 weeks and how much I'm going to miss him. But I couldn't because I have found myself in the midst of an incredibly busy school semester. After spring break, we changed theology classes and we have one of the best classes in the school. This class just so happens to involve daily and weekly homework that makes a fairly tight schedule get to that point of bringing me to tears. I love the content of the class. I love the teacher. I love the check lists. I just have realized that my homework is increasing dramatically this quarter. Because of this, my blog will probably not be tended to as faithfully. But when I get to the end of this semester, I will feel like I've actually completed something worth bragging about. Not that I want to brag about it. Anyways. Moving on...

On Sunday I went to a bible study that I usually attend. It's not really a bible study but I call it that for the sake of simplicity. It's a group of women that meet bi-weekly and hear someone speak. Anyways, this last Sunday we had a lady who took the time to prophesy over every lady in the room. I was almost the last person in the line and I was curious to see what she would say because she had been saying something different over each person. The other ladies had received good words about things in their past that added to their present, little nuggets of who God made them to be, truth about callings, ect. When she got to me she asked me my name. I told her and right away she said,

"Baylea, you are the most noble among women." 

Didn't really see that one coming. She talked about how nobility have this way about them that other people didn't get. Of all the words people have spoken over me, I do not remember a word that hit my heart like that one. I always feel a bit awkward in that group because it's a group of about 40 beautiful young women who dress in adorable outfits and have such huge hearts for Jesus. I look and feel so small next to them. Even this last Sunday, I was not dressed in my finest. I was sitting with my feet on the chair and my knees pulled up to my chin like a little kid. And then bam! Most noble among women.

I don't even know what that exactly means but all of a sudden, I took myself seriously. I saw myself as important. I saw myself on the inside, not on the outside. My Father is the King of Glory. I have royalty in my blood. There is a confidence in my heart that wasn't there before. My Jesus hears me. He is for me. I can live knowing that I have an unshakable hope and love vast as an ocean. Jesus Christ.

That being said, my heart has been longing for a new development in my waiting for my husband. It's been a struggle looking at the coming weeks and thinking, "I have no idea when this young man will find me." and setting my heart to wait. But not just wait. I want to finish my single years well. With joy. With peace. With hope. With confidence. With excellence. Just as I am applying myself to finish my time in school to the best of my ability, I want to end my life as a single person bringing glory to Jesus' name. Daily I remind my soul to find joy in the Lord. Daily I speak the words, "Jesus, only You satisfy." and they are a comfort. Today Jesus used a freshman to encourage me to wait for my husband. It wasn't anything complicated. It didn't need to be! Honestly, just hearing the same words that people have been telling me for years is enough. Wait, Baylea. Just wait. He's coming. He's going to love you. Never underestimate the power of a well timed simple truth. 


I will close this blog with the disclaimer that I do not know when I'll have time to write again. However, if you read this anytime between now and May 18th, please feel free to pray for me. A well timed simple prayer is powerful as well.

Love,
Me

"The Next Generation Is Coming Through Us."

Hello Blogging Audience,

Tonight at my Women's Captured meeting we had a phenomenal woman of God come and talk to us. The main topic of her message was women and the wounds on our hearts. She said many thought provoking and and true statements but one thing that struck me hard on the inside was when she said,

"Girls, the next generation is coming through us."

I never heard it phrased that way. It gave it such a sobering meaning. As a woman, I will be entrusted with the next generation coming from my womb and from my house. All through out history, since the very beginning of humanity, the next generation always came from the women.
On one hand, I'm honored to partner with God in raising up the next generation of men and women that will be history makers. But on the other hand, I'm terrified. I look around and see girls that aren't ready to be mamas. I see girls that can't even look someone in the eye because they have so little sense of self worth, how will this girl look at her beautiful daughter and say, "You're a princess." I see girls that dress like they've been treated- cheap. How will this girl raise a son who will respect women? I see girls that are still little kids on the inside, how will these girls be the authority and example that their children need? I see girls that think that fathers aren't important because they never had a father and the lie has blinded them from seeing the critical role a father has in the life of his son and daughter. How will her son grow up and be a man? How will her daughter grow up and know how to be in a trusting relationship with a guy?

These things are all common in my generation. Bitterness, unforgiveness, anger, jealousy, pride, self-pity, we ALL have these things in our hearts! And when we don't address them and take them to The Healer, we're going to raise a generation that says it's okay to be in an immoral relationship. They'll say it's okay to be mean, to be proud, to hold grudges, to put others down so that you feel better and to lie to cover yourself. I am not okay with this.

We, as women, must take our stand to be the example to the next generation. Whether it's your child or your sister's child or your neighbor's child or a child you see at wal-mart. Exemplify respect for elders, for your husband, for others in general. Go low and serve with a happy heart. Listen to them, encourage them, speak truth and identity over them. I want to see the next generation be the most God-fearing, truth loving, love giving and humble generation that has ever walk on the planet earth but they're not going to just be born like that. They're going to look to us as mothers, sisters, aunts, friends and people of authority. What we show them will be mirrored back to us. These little ones will come from us, our friends, our relatives, our neighbors and our peers. God wants to partner with us to raise a holy generation who will be filled with the Holy Spirit from the womb.

Jesus, show me how. Amen.

Love,
Me

The Story of Esther

Hello blog audience,

Today's blog is going to be about a girl that has influenced me beyond what I even know. I wish that I could know this girl, spend a day with her and know everything she did because she is obviously amazing. I want to stand in her shoes, know what she set her heart on and what her thoughts were. How did she carry herself? How did she show love? How did she honour those in her life? What in the world was Esther's secret?

Let's be real folks, this story is absolutely fascinating. 

It's not every little girl that can be an orphan one day and then taken in to have a chance at being the wife of the king of the biggest empire in the history of the world. [I don't actually know if that is true...] You gotta have something pretty dang special to win the attention of a man who has had probably thousands of beautiful young virgins paraded in front of him for months and make him think, "Wait a second! I like this one!" What in the world did she do? I mean, obviously she was beautiful [this is a biblically noted fact.] and she had the help of the head eunich, Hegai, but really, guys, what did she do????  
Am I the only one that is intrigued by the spaces between the lines and wish I could go back to that day in time and see the way Esther met the king/ Was she scared? Was she smiling? Was her heart pounding so hard that the king could hear it? Did she know she was going to be chosen? Did she want to be chosen?

As much as I ponder those questions I do know at least one thing that Esther did. This verse gets me every time,
" ²⁰ Esther... was still following Mordecai’s directions, just as she did when she lived in his home."

This was after our girl was queen. This was after she had left Mordecai's house. I remember reading that and for the first time really reading it and the spirit of conviction fell on me something fierce.

Back in 2008, I was in a marriage swirl (translation: all I thought about was getting married.) and I can't remember if it was my mom that suggested it or if I just decided but Esther became my go to book. Now the marriage swirls come and go but the theme of honoring those in authority over me still jumps out each time I go back to study the life of Esther. Back then, I was 20 years old and was living with my parents as a young adult who had already been out on her own. I still did as they asked but my heart posture was often not one of respect towards them. As Jesus continued to reveal the rebellion in my heart and set my heart on the path of the 5th commandment, I was struck by how little my generation honours those in authority over us.

OBEYING OUR PARENTS AND HONOURING THEIR AUTHORITY OVER US DOES NOT HAVE AN EXPIRATION DATE.


I can't tell you how many young people that I know and admire have this skewed perspective of, "Well, I'm 18 so I can make my own decision." Yes, legally you have the ability to do many things when you turn 18 but it doesn't make you immune to one of the 10 commandments. This is pride.

I am writing this blog because God has spent the last 4 years digging this lie out of my heart and showing me how wrong it is to think that listening to my parents end the night before my 18th birthday.  This was a rough journey because I am a prideful person. I was excited that I was an adult and I didn't have to follow all the household rules anymore. I was convinced that permission was not needed from my parents. And in some instances, it wasn't. I was a responsible adult who was capable of making my own decisions. Honouring my parents for all the years they spoke into my life, however, didn't always come into the decision making equation.

What if my generation began honouring those in authority over us. Not just doing what they say but really truly setting our hearts to serve them and respect them simply because they are in authority over us. That doesn't mean that everything they say is right or that everything they do is perfect or that they'll never hurt you (intentionally or unintentionally, people hurt others.) but God doesn't say, "Find a perfect boss/pastor/teacher and then honour their authority over your life." We're all broken but God puts those He wants in authority over others in their positions and we have to make the decision to respect them.

In our day and age, simply obeying your parents as a minor in their home is not found in many families. They show rebellion as being cool in movies and TV shows, they make it okay to lie to parents and be deceptive. They portray those in authority as stupid and unworthy of our respect. This is not okay with me. 


Shifting back to Esther; She honoured Mordecai who adopted her. That's a pretty straight-up guy. As far as I know, he didn't have a wife and they didn't have any other family around. They might have but they weren't written about so I don't technically know. A single man, raising a girl has to be challenging and I'm sure Morgecai did not get it all right. Yes, Esther honoured him in his house and out of his house because he was in authority over her.
Esther also honoured and respected Hegai, the head over the harem. Let's be honest, eunichs are not normal people. It's not their own fault, I know, but what would it be like to be taken into this harem with who knows how many other girls that are all beautiful and virgins and all wanting to be the queen of Persia and be placed under the authority of... an "it"? But somehow, in the midst of all the drama and cat-fights (we all know it happened), Esther caught that eunich's eye and he snatched her up and set her on the fast track to being the next queen of the biggest kingdom of the world.
Maybe it was because she said thank you.
Maybe she didn't sass back.
Maybe her actions spoke louder than her words.

I don't know about you, but I want to be the kind of girl that turns the head of a king who could have any young woman in the world. I want to be the kind of girl that sets my heart to honour those God puts in authority over me and is admired by everyone who sees me. Do you know someone who is admired by every person that sees them? It's a stunning thing and it's usually because that person has set their heart to be humble and serve those around them. It's so easy to love a person that comes up under you and says, "I'll go low so that you can go higher." What if we did that for our parents? Even when we don't agree with them. I want to be the kind of girl that is a nobody and becomes a girl that saves a nation because everyone who saw her was impressed.

Love,
Me

[Most of you might be thinking that with this much interest in the story of Esther I must love the movie, "A night with the king." This is a false and totally unrelated topic. I actually didn't like the movie very much at all.]